A while ago, I set out to change the world. Writing, as much as I love it had become a hindrance. I couldn’t ‘hear’ and I couldn’t ‘see.’ I fought with myself and procrastinated about what I wanted to do, say, and be. I wanted it to be easy, to think it into existence as if I were really God. I could tell everyone else the truth of it all and I wouldn’t have to deal with any negative energy, people would accept everything I say without question, and the world would be exactly the way I want it. I quickly found out that I can’t change anything- talk about being bummed. I wanted us to hold hands and embrace each other’s differences, but we continue to spiral out of control. There a bits here and there that are absorbed and worked out, tweaked and practiced. Months flew by and I have neglected this passion.
I began changing. Slowly, at first, then each little bit contributed to a mental metamorphosis.
“Whoa..” (in my Keanu Reeves voice)
This introspection has taught me some things:
I can change me. I did notice that all my jabber about utopian possibilities weren’t all that effective while I still mindlessly watched television, participated in road rage, altered my appearance daily, etc. It dawned on me by the time Christmas rolled around, that in order to change things I have to lead by example. Not in writing or cyberspace. But in daily life – the way I interact with others, my body language, the words I use and the subliminal messages I send out in the form of energy (that needs to be positive). So, I can’t sulk in my room or office, be antisocial, and think anyone would listen to me talk about love and oneness… duh.
When one takes the time to become more self-aware, great things happen. Less conflict, more peace; Less talking, more doing; More love, less negativity. Doors open, unexpected and positive things begin to happen, your mind changes. When your mind changes, the way you react changes. When your reactions change, people start noticing and listening.
Share. Always. Your thoughts and feelings. I wasn’t necessarily raised this way, so it was really stepping out of my box to voice my true thoughts, opinions, and feelings in a format other than written word… I give more hugs, more smiles, more compliments, and you know what? I feel better. I feel really good. I take the time to slow down at the office, greet people when I walk by, smile at everyone, and even (you’ll think I’m crazy) silence my cell phone when I go home in the evenings. Best thing I ever did (besides having a family).
Distancing oneself from things (and people) that do not matter is truly freeing. I spend more time engaged in real conversation with my loved ones. I’m not reading like I used to – though I love to read, it does tend to get a bit obsessive with me. I am able to discuss these world changing, lovely ideas with my children. They are really fun and enjoy the social and philosophical concepts I introduce to them. They are full of wonder and love for everyone – I hope this never changes.
Finding passion for fellow humans. I created a group that meets monthly to discuss the world around us, the meaningful conversations, not about politics or entertainment. Through meditation, mindfulness, and open minds, we are learning to free ourselves from these boxes and labels that clutter our world and demean our human experience.
I found out (again) that we are born awesome. We are told that we are faulty, but that is just not true. We are all on a journey. It’s different for each of us. I look inward for my truth, but I also look outward at yours – because it is just as true. One level is not better than another. I’m learning to embrace everything and everyone (this includes opinions). The good and the bad, being aware of these but not giving away too much energy. I hope it helps someone else.