Trusting The Unknown

I’ve spent months wrapped up in worrying about the future and what I am now supposed to accomplish. I know I have a purpose, but as I delved inward this morning, I realized that it is not about ‘knowing’ what one is supposed to do, but in ‘trusting’ that voice of Divine Awareness that says, “Just be. The rest will take care of itself.”

I’ve spent half a year in the dark, without a clue – knowing in my soul that there is something I was supposed to be doing, but not realizing I already am. I Am. But I could not see it.

I had reached out to my community, but participation was lacking. I had reached out to my friends, who indulged me with wide eyes and requests to ‘let us go do something fun.’ But how can I have fun? Perhaps, I’ve come to take myself to seriously in my quest for a purpose – free from the real world. Bummer.

And so life has gone on. I go to work, grocery shop, help with homework, read, sleep, continuing all the while wondering. But slowly, my inwardness became comfortable. And I decided that since I didn’t know all there was to know about what the Divine had in store, I shrugged and went about my way.

In discussions with a friend, more like – me giving advice to others and in doing so- I find the answers were there all along, waiting to be realized. And so a flicker was born, once again. But this time in a not-so-obsessive way (I do tend to obsess). I allowed myself to be free from my obsession to know.

I’ve gone about with a new smile, knowing that all will be revealed when the time comes. Thanks to my friend, who is so similar to me in wanting to know and to control that I must temper him, to hold on and know that all will be well. And to remind us that, all of our lives, we have been deeper in the awareness of Divinity. That THAT which holds us has never let us down anywhere we were not supposed to be.

So, as I set about life comfortable in the unknown, I am reminded this morning – once again, that my ego wants to know the who, what, when, how – but my heart knows that knowing defeats the purpose of trusting.

A Focus on Freedom

A while ago, I set out to change the world. Writing, as much as I love it had become a hindrance. I couldn’t ‘hear’ and I couldn’t ‘see.’ I fought with myself and procrastinated about what I wanted to do, say, and be. I wanted it to be easy, to think it into existence as if I were really God. I could tell everyone else the truth of it all and I wouldn’t have to deal with any negative energy, people would accept everything I say without question, and the world would be exactly the way I want it. I quickly found out that I can’t change anything- talk about being bummed. I wanted us to hold hands and embrace each other’s differences, but we continue to spiral out of control. There a bits here and there that are absorbed and worked out, tweaked and practiced. Months flew by and I have neglected this passion.

I began changing. Slowly, at first, then each little bit contributed to a mental metamorphosis.

“Whoa..” (in my Keanu Reeves voice)

This introspection has taught me some things:

I can change me. I did notice that all my jabber about utopian possibilities weren’t all that effective while I still mindlessly watched television, participated in road rage, altered my appearance daily, etc. It dawned on me by the time Christmas rolled around, that in order to change things I have to lead by example. Not in writing or cyberspace. But in daily life – the way I interact with others, my body language, the words I use and the subliminal messages I send out in the form of energy (that needs to be positive). So, I can’t sulk in my room or office, be antisocial, and think anyone would listen to me talk about love and oneness… duh.

When one takes the time to become more self-aware, great things happen. Less conflict, more peace; Less talking, more doing; More love, less negativity. Doors open, unexpected and positive things begin to happen, your mind changes. When your mind changes, the way you react changes. When your reactions change, people start noticing and listening.

Share. Always. Your thoughts and feelings. I wasn’t necessarily raised this way, so it was really stepping out of my box to voice my true thoughts, opinions, and feelings in a format other than written word… I give more hugs, more smiles, more compliments, and you know what? I feel better. I feel really good. I take the time to slow down at the office, greet people when I walk by, smile at everyone, and even (you’ll think I’m crazy) silence my cell phone when I go home in the evenings. Best thing I ever did (besides having a family).

Distancing oneself from things (and people) that do not matter is truly freeing. I spend more time engaged in real conversation with my loved ones. I’m not reading like I used to – though I love to read, it does tend to get a bit obsessive with me. I am able to discuss these world changing, lovely ideas with my children. They are really fun and enjoy the social and philosophical concepts I introduce to them. They are full of wonder and love for everyone – I hope this never changes.

Finding passion for fellow humans. I created a group that meets monthly to discuss the world around us, the meaningful conversations, not about politics or entertainment. Through meditation, mindfulness, and open minds, we are learning to free ourselves from these boxes and labels that clutter our world and demean our human experience.

I found out (again) that we are born awesome. We are told that we are faulty, but that is just not true. We are all on a journey. It’s different for each of us. I look inward for my truth, but I also look outward at yours – because it is just as true. One level is not better than another. I’m learning to embrace everything and everyone (this includes opinions). The good and the bad, being aware of these but not giving away too much energy.  I hope it helps someone else.

To Change the World

Every challenge is an opportunity to learn about yourself. We can choose to blame society, the government, our forefathers, our Creator for all that is wrong in the world or we can accept who we really are and love ourselves anyway. 

All of us are each other. We are one and the same. We are all capable of the greatest of evils or the greatest good. Our world is our choice. The only way to change the world, is to change your mind. To change society, change your ambitions. To change the government, change your expectations. To change humanity, change your heart. 

We already have the power to make a difference. The only excuse is whether or not we choose to act in some way relevant to our talents. Everything is already at our fingertips. Faith in ‘ourself’ is the only power we will ever need. Stop fearing the possibility of failure.

 In these challenging times, may we(I) remember that there is a perfect order to life. Our pursuit to satisfy our ego has devastated our planet, each other and ultimately, ourselves. By feeding our ego, we have separated ourselves from each other. We have created an entire world full of competition and indulgence that has led us to this time in humanity. Even the forces of nature are an expression of our own consciousness. Our anger, bitterness, judgment, self-righteousness have created a tumultuous environment.  

Reconsider your self-worth, all of life depends on it. 

The Way of Truth

I have been thinking about Truth since my last post. Some say that “truth is what you experience, that truth is personal. You cannot follow someone else’s truth.” But that limits truth to experience, when truth, at least for me, is not based on experience or based on physicality.

Perhaps I am reaching too high, but I like to believe that truth lies within our higher consciousness. That it is not ‘down here’ where we are – there is only relative truth, not Truth as in, the way it really is – which we know nothing about.  Our minds have yet to comprehend the workings of the Universe (if there really is just a universe). Science has barely broken this ground, it is still the final frontier, or at least, next-to-final. Consciousness, not personal or human consciousness, but true Consciousness that flows within all living things – that is “us” – that is where Truth lies.

How do you get there?

You be still. Be quiet. Empty your mind. This works best for me outside. I hear birds chirping and trees swaying with the wind instead of the constant humming of electronics. I let go of the to-do lists and plans. I breathe deeply and purposefully, while basking in the beauty that surrounds me. Sometimes, I weed my garden barefoot to not only feel the lush grass, but the damp, fertile soil – the womb of life that is nurtured by the sun. The Sun, who spreads seed upon the earth via wind and follows with the rain to set it. There is beauty and wonder all around us. We are blessed to have been chosen to leave the realm of Higher Consciousness to witness the miraculous cycle of life. However, finding truth in the miracle of life is relative. Even the plants must overcome obstacles to stay alive: nutrients, rain, temperature. Some plants may see life as drudgery, as some humans do.

But it is not purposeless and that is Truth. The plant has a purpose and knows not why it is here – but we do. We appreciate the plants and the role they play to keep our human bodies alive. The human has a purpose and knows not why it is here – but something does. Perhaps the Whole of Consciousness knows why we are here. We will return, one day, and find out. And when we continue this cycle, we will, once again, be human. We will, once again, be sent to find our way back to Truth. And as each subsequent cycle continues to expand our knowledge and our connection to the Whole, eventually, we will figure it all out. Then, we will complete a much larger cycle and therein, know the Whole Truth.